tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51589109324200842912024-02-08T09:21:35.528-08:00My Poetic MusingsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-27699817504811605532016-08-12T10:30:00.001-07:002020-11-15T12:54:42.038-08:00Tyler Glenn -- Shameless<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
I am sitting here SOBBING at the TRUTH of this young man - - a young man who could easily have been the son of one of my childhood friends and who I want to HUG because, dammit, <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/shameless?source=feed_text&story_id=10153929945808022" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">Shameless</span></a>. </div>
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I have seen the broken souls of the Babyboom LBGTQ human beings </div>
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in the Most Mormon Town North of the 49th. </div>
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Yes, even then, I saw behind </div>
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Your acts and the carefully crafted performances </div>
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where </div>
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You would shoehorn your beautiful, amazing, kaleidoscope selves </div>
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into </div>
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the button down white shir<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">ts and the knee length skirts of conformity. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Diving deep into the scriptural stew to obliterate Your LIGHT and </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">replace it with the sad glow of florescence. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">You have repeated the mantras and magic words learned in childhood, </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">hoping the incantations will open the drawbridge </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">leading </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">to the elusive bright-white Celestial Perfection. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Ask no questions. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Tell no lies. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Years. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Decades. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">You have stuffed the cognitive dissonance so far down </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">buried it under new generations of Miracles. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">And You did not. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Bowing out early, leaving Your families in shrouded silent secret </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">buried under marble sheets. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">But to those of You who survived know this: </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">what You did to live was okay. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">You can stay safe within your crafted pantomime. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">But KNOW </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">please </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">just KNOW: </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">You were seen and loved. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">I saw You. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">MotherFatherUniverse saw You. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">And LOVED </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">That is the only Real Thing.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-7641219069552808802015-07-06T03:59:00.000-07:002015-07-06T03:59:49.413-07:00For my Sister . . .<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You taught me the earliest lesson of Family</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Distance means nothing between hearts</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Two weeks of Magic can sustain 50 more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Summer </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">equaled YOU</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">with towering hair and painted nails</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and stories of fantasical places.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Eyes sparkling blue with </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">mischief of Other</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">burrowing into the cocoon of my childhood.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Teaching me in so many ways</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">that LIFE existed beyond.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And, in absence, you sent --</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">carried by dead presidents -- blue ink lines</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">on paper to fill</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">the 50 weeks of gone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Punctuated by the sharp ring of</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">black, wall-tethered words over wires</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">to hold news too large to be carried in </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">an envelope.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I was perched on the edge of grown,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">you signed me up for a</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">monthly magic show of</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">words and images.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The author even carried your name - - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">speaking about demanding change</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and a Voice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I clung to those pages,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">a talisman against the sea of sameness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">that swirled around, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">trying to swallow my Soul, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">giving me the courage to </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">scream "NO" and became the</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">small-town epitome of DIFFERENT,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">a fighter in a Revolution</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">lead by women named Gloria.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Years beyond I alone stand</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">a Bridge between generations</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">looking both back </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and beyond tomorrow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The daemons that chased </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">your Spirit wedged their way</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">through the cracks,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">stealing you away into Darkness,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">occasional streaks of light</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">both hotter and brighter than</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">the Sun until, at long last, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">the weight of the journey</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">brought you down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now I stand to say, THANK YOU -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">for setting my course</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and telling me I had a voice,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">quietly demanding </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I use it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and not hide from</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">honeyed-words that,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">in an instant, turn sharp</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">as a dagger</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">only defeated by speaking the</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">. . . . . </span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-24800390344954341952009-10-12T09:55:00.000-07:002009-10-12T09:57:13.123-07:00Death and RebirthJust as I was ready to<br />lay<br />down and die<br />the loss so great I could not<br />bear the weight<br />A miracle lifted me above<br />myself and I saw<br />the Road to Peace<br />and I chose<br />a different path.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-28411809969944991442009-07-10T15:05:00.000-07:002009-07-10T15:07:32.540-07:00WallsThe fear springs up<br />in a silent flash<br />even before I realize<br />I am enclosed<br />safe but<br />untouchable.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-210212236432577632009-07-10T14:55:00.000-07:002009-07-10T15:05:31.004-07:00StickyFunny the stuff that<br />STICKS<br />camouflagued to blend into the fabric<br />is that the day to day<br />until a sudden glint of light reflects<br />what I had managed to forget. . .<br />my failed attempts to remove<br />the offending reminder are<br />revived and I try a new, better cleanser<br />that only mars the background and leaves<br />the stain vividly bright and raw once more. . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-2111087448812123622009-07-08T20:26:00.000-07:002009-07-22T14:15:11.147-07:00MirrorThe Who I am<br />stands in stark contrast to who I see<br />looking into my eyes<br />from under roots of silver and lines<br />traced by years I let slip through my fingers<br />like so much sand at the beachUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-85187851832923068442009-05-07T21:02:00.000-07:002009-05-07T21:04:22.740-07:00Mother BearYou chose ME<br />because you knew<br />I would<br />protect HER. . .<br />you saw my role model<br />the Mother Bear<br />who put her cubs before<br />EVERYTHING and EVERYONE<br />and you knew<br />you wouldn't be around<br />to keep her safe<br />so<br />you chose me and now<br />I am<br />the Mother Bear. . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-80178484113808438502009-04-30T12:50:00.000-07:002009-04-30T12:54:11.173-07:00No longer do I ask<br />'why did you leave?'<br /><br />I see where you have gone<br />back to the safey of a childhood<br />'normal'<br />filled with conflict and drama and pain<br />just like Home.<br /><br />Now I only can ask<br />'why did you stay so long?'Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-1281632382826265102009-03-01T10:04:00.000-08:002009-03-01T10:05:59.365-08:00ColdYesterday<br />I woke up cold<br />blankets on the floor<br />wondering when they had fallen<br />off<br /><br />Then I<br />noticed that I<br />could move again and<br />breathe in freely once again<br /><br />I am free.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-32935677849496543732009-02-20T12:10:00.000-08:002009-02-20T13:00:54.280-08:00Last AidThose first lessons<br />the ones that<br />burn deep in the skin and soul and heart<br />the lessons of leaving<br />of betrayal<br />the wound the oozes raw beneath the shield<br />agony ignored and assauged with a panacea<br />of quick fixes and momentary thrills<br />I watch you run<br />trying to escape <br />your truth is<br />tattooed on your Soul<br />and it keeps pace at your side.<br /><br />When you can no longer bear the<br />weight of the pain<br />I will be waiting<br />with the balm<br />that will heal all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-14471674036880834622009-02-18T10:47:00.000-08:002009-02-20T12:04:08.440-08:00ElephantIt sits quietly<br />basking in the sun of a<br />New Spring<br />silent and unnamed<br />as we dance<br />carefully avoiding the<br />rising piles of<br />excrement<br />the smell stings ~~<br />the air pungent with<br />the unsaid<br />as realization dawns<br />I turn and find<br />all exits<br />blocked.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-77791958442864806992009-01-23T14:40:00.001-08:002009-01-23T14:45:10.666-08:00AtonementYou are foregiven<br />even before you ask<br />because I see<br />only<br />Your Innocence<br />and<br />I know that it is only<br />in Forgiving<br />that I am Forgiven<br />and that is all<br />I seek.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-84764076048466374952009-01-23T14:24:00.000-08:002009-02-20T12:06:05.298-08:00EmbarkationOnce again I take<br />the Road<br />Less Traveled<br />it is not the one that<br />others would choose<br />were they me;<br />or where You have me go,<br />if I gave You that choice ~<br />I know not where it leads<br />to solitude or unity<br />but the Peace it holds<br />calls me quietly<br />and I<br />Know<br />I must go. . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-47056172225372945902008-12-21T20:23:00.000-08:002008-12-21T20:26:46.072-08:00Stepping stoneHow do I dig<br />out of this HOLE<br />where I willingly<br />went to fetch you<br />when you fell, so hard<br />so fast.<br />You grasp my hand<br />and then climbed out<br />over my body<br />pressing my flesh into<br />the black mud<br />and leaving me<br />like so much<br />old trash. . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-64800242552275568822008-11-23T18:42:00.000-08:002008-11-27T22:36:02.466-08:00Parum NexI walk through fire<br />never burning or feeling heat<br />I carry the weight of<br />my world<br />and do not stumble<br />I am the paragon of<br />strength and courage<br />navigating more than any<br />one<br />woman<br />should endure.<br /><br />But, each day another<br />chip breaks away and<br />small drops of<br />pain<br />slip down my face<br />each one a monument<br />to<br />the small losses<br />that have passed<br />with no stone<br />or cross<br />or grave<br />to mark their exitUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-1697686296406426992008-11-11T19:00:00.000-08:002008-11-11T19:15:03.410-08:00RightsOnce you have a child<br />you give up<br />certain rights. . .<br />some are obvious<br />like<br />the right to just take off<br />and go to the movies<br />without planning or thinking about it<br />or<br />the right to go to the bathroom<br />without a knock on the door<br />or<br />the right to buy only the toys<br />you want for yourself<br />or<br />the right to sleep through the night<br />when there are monsters under the bed.<br /><br />But the biggest right you willingly hand over<br />is the right<br />to self-destruct<br />because someone<br />counts on you and<br />only you<br /><br />So you pick yourself up<br />and dust off and<br />move forward and realize<br />that the privilege of being the<br />Mother<br />is worth it all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-13719802850493937782008-10-13T20:44:00.001-07:002008-10-13T20:48:28.929-07:00Parenting isbeing there<br />even when you would rather be somewhere else<br />just in case<br />a tooth aches<br />or a throat hurts<br />or a nightmare interrupts sleep . . .<br />Parenting is<br />not about YOU<br />it is about HER<br />just as you promised her it would be<br />a heartbeat ago<br />when she lay, wrapped in a blanket<br />in your arms looking up with<br />trust and love.<br /><br />She still looks up that way<br />and every time she looks<br />and you are not there<br />a piece of her dies<br />I hope your new life is worth it. . . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-14597366745897062552008-10-13T05:34:00.000-07:002008-10-13T05:37:24.898-07:00Re-BuildingFrom the rubble of what was my sanctuary<br />I am building<br />piece by piece<br />brick by brick<br />I seek out those that can<br />support their own<br />weight<br />one by one<br />they stack<br />form and shape taking<br />but<br />it is too soon to tell<br />the final product. . .<br />Is it is Bridge<br />or a Wall?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-6437668663937305772008-09-07T19:53:00.000-07:002008-11-27T22:38:25.798-08:00Referral Wanted<div>I've heard that the science<br />of beating the blues</div><br /><div>has improved<br />since the days of<br />ice baths<br />and seizures<br />and that<br />electroshock treatment<br />can jumpstart a brain<br />back into a positive mode<br />. . . .<br />I know the old way could almost<br />erase<br />the offending memories<br />have they fixed that?<br />I hope not.<br />I want a blank slate<br />a few missing years<br />relieving me of the pain<br />of remembering<br />my sins<br />and your pain<br />and replacing it with<br />nothing. . . . </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-52069864582880449532008-09-02T18:43:00.000-07:002008-09-06T18:40:22.956-07:00Truth in Advertising, Part 2<div>Used 46 year old<br />non-beauty queen<br />with trust issues<br />seeks someone<br />who can see past </div>a hard bumpy protective shell<br /><div>to the soft parts inside<br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-10982682270245583172008-09-02T18:06:00.000-07:002008-09-06T18:06:40.730-07:00Truth in Advertising<div>40-something teenage male<br />seeking 20-something<br />chick with perfect hourglass shape<br />and even more perfect BJ technique<br />Must also have<br />NO expectations and<br />even fewer standards<br />to help me recapture<br />that Youth I missed<br />while I was raising my younger siblings<br />and running interference with<br />my mother's alcoholic boyfriends.<br />I want fun, fun, fun - - </div><br /><div>so if you want anything more</div><br /><div>don't call me. . . . .<br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-28402481536193840742008-09-01T18:37:00.000-07:002008-09-01T18:42:43.425-07:00Inevitable AccidentI once saw<br />a truck<br />hit a child<br />she dashed to cross<br />the street<br />just this much<br />too far ahead<br />of her Mother's protective grasp.<br /><br />In that moment,<br />I was<br />struck helpless<br />watching<br />the slow motion<br />collision of flesh and bone and metal.<br /><br />It is a sensation<br />I cannot forget.<br /><br />Now,<br />as I watch You<br />race to collide with<br />the inevitable<br />I am again<br />struck helpless.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-31018483304810307082008-09-01T18:33:00.001-07:002008-09-01T18:35:19.093-07:00No Return, No RefundYou seem surprised<br />to open your own chest<br />and find<br />it is still there<br />bruised but beating<br />thrum. . . thrum. . . thrum<br />next to your own<br />Heart - -<br />it echoes life<br />back to me<br />across the distance<br />but it remains<br />with You<br />as always. . . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-87864383518910360732008-08-27T18:25:00.000-07:002008-08-27T18:37:16.120-07:00Past ImperfectNo matter<br />how fast<br />or how far<br />you run. . .<br />it is always there<br />with you<br />the Monster<br />under Your Bed<br /><br />No amount of paint, or gloss, or shine<br />can cover its ugliness<br />No amount of cotton stuffed in your ears<br />can quell its howls<br />No amount of cologne and mouthwash<br />can soften the acrid odor it leaves<br />No protective clothing, no kevlar, no metal plates<br />can ward of its sharp points and edges<br /><br />The Monster will still be there<br />until you<br />turn<br />and FACE it<br />and walk into the FEAR and PAIN<br /><br />and as you open your eyes<br />you will discover that once faced<br />the power is lost<br />and you are<br />truly FREE . . . .Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5158910932420084291.post-69127572377757036932008-08-27T18:16:00.000-07:002008-08-27T18:24:37.328-07:00She Knows NO. . ."You never say <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">no</span> to her"<br />or so it seems. . .<br /><br />But yes I do<br />the BIG<br />NO<br />writ larger than<br />those about<br />things<br />and adventures<br />and fun<br /><br />The BIG <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">NO</span></span><br />was said<br />to her<br />NO<br />you do not get<br />parents who show you how to LOVE<br />in the way that lasts<br />FOR<br /> ever<br /><br />No - to family camping trips<br />No - to embarassment from parental kisses in front<br /> of friends<br />No - to honouring promises<br />No - to working out what does not work<br /> and replacing it with something that does<br />No - to starting back at square ONE and rebuilding<br /> if that is<br /> what it takes<br /><br />She has had too many of the BIG ones<br /><br />No - your grandpa is gone and isn't coming back<br />No - your grandma is gone and isn't coming back<br />NO YOUR SAFE FAMILY IS GONE<br />and isn't coming back<br /><br />So, as I see it<br />there are not enough YESes to make up<br />for that. . .<br />She already knows NOUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0