Past Imperfect

No matter
how fast
or how far
you run. . .
it is always there
with you
the Monster
under Your Bed

No amount of paint, or gloss, or shine
can cover its ugliness
No amount of cotton stuffed in your ears
can quell its howls
No amount of cologne and mouthwash
can soften the acrid odor it leaves
No protective clothing, no kevlar, no metal plates
can ward of its sharp points and edges

The Monster will still be there
until you
turn
and FACE it
and walk into the FEAR and PAIN

and as you open your eyes
you will discover that once faced
the power is lost
and you are
truly FREE . . . .

She Knows NO. . .

"You never say no to her"
or so it seems. . .

But yes I do
the BIG
NO
writ larger than
those about
things
and adventures
and fun

The BIG NO
was said
to her
NO
you do not get
parents who show you how to LOVE
in the way that lasts
FOR
ever

No - to family camping trips
No - to embarassment from parental kisses in front
of friends
No - to honouring promises
No - to working out what does not work
and replacing it with something that does
No - to starting back at square ONE and rebuilding
if that is
what it takes

She has had too many of the BIG ones

No - your grandpa is gone and isn't coming back
No - your grandma is gone and isn't coming back
NO YOUR SAFE FAMILY IS GONE
and isn't coming back

So, as I see it
there are not enough YESes to make up
for that. . .
She already knows NO

Style

When did you grow into
a style all your own?

Your new clothes reflect the
YOU that is emerging from the
baby face smile
the lines lengthen from
growth and age
and from the raw materials
you create
a unique YOU.

Absolution

Today I am queen, mother goddess and all things divine
and for that one moment
I grant You
pardon for your sins
and send you forth to
Sin No More.

Care Package

I pack up each small piece
of that life
wrapping things that once
meant
wishing I could
box up memories
like so much
glass and plastic
leave them on Good
Will's
doorstep
where claimed
they are given
new breath.

Unpacked

Cowards

Standing at the edge
and staring out
and down
We were overtaken by
the sheerness of the drop - -
the depth obscured by
clouds, numinous in their presence.
The Voice (of god?)
begged us to trust
and jump
but we could not hear it over
the shrieks of our own fears.
We broke faith and ran
lost in the
dark.
Now, I stand alone
and see clearly the
soft, safe peace that would have been.